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Cheap NIGHTMARE Bridezillas and Groom Rant.
People that get married these days for some reason have this unrealistic expectation of trying to hire the best world renown DJ and paying them in chicken tenders and a few fries. Nobody is expecting you to shell out millions for a wedding dj. You cheap and delusional fucks you...
Yes, people have different budgets. Understandable. But If you only want to pay $50.00 for a dj. Then expect a $50.00 dj. Don’t spend that whopping $50.00 and expect DJ Qbert and the entire beatjunkies and Tiesto or whoever the fuck to show up.
Then these fucks have the audacity to pull out a laundry list of demands for the dj. What he should or shouldnt play. When to play it, only when they say so. GTFO here... With that budget, DJ iPod will do for you just fine bro.”
People don’t know the shit you gotta put up with all night as a wedding dj. People look at you like some schmuck pushing buttons and yelling on a mic and think to themselves,”how hard can it be?” Lol Anytime you wanna audition during this wedding let me know jackass. I can arrange your epic fail of your first and last attempt as a dj. “Ladies N Gents, I introduce to you DJ Failure (Airhorn.. Fen, fen fennnnnnn) fuck that. Even the airhorn would fail.
You gotta lug around all this equipment and show up extra early to setup and stay late to break down the equipment. Then aimlessly walk around trying to get the attention of a drunken groom or bride to collect money so you can bounce and head to your nearest McDonald’s so you can stuff your pretty little fat face from malnourishment. All to top it off, you had to buy drinks at the bar all night too! You can thank the shitty wedding coordinator for that. Haha
In addition to the
... you gotta deal with the.... “Can you dj for like 10 hours with no sitting and deal with all my drunk friends and relatives and their belligerence and constantly be bombarded with the worlds worst drunk song requests every minute and let my guests spill their drinks on your expensive dj gear. Oh, not to mention the classic drunk female who’s upset with you all night ‘cause you didn’t play her song, “like, right fucking now!!!” and says to you,”So what, everyone is dancing. Can you play something “i.........” can dance to?!?!?” Right.... ‘Cause that’s exactly textbook on how to get your song played cheap short wedding dresses
. I’m sorry fake professional bridesmaid dress wearer ‘cause you’ll never be in a wedding dress heffa you! Is this your wedding day???”
You best kick rocks with some open toe Jesus sandals with your drunk ass... haha Someone come get their goofy lookin’ Hyena out of the booth please, thank you. Haha
Moral of the story. Good DJ’s aren’t cheap. Cheap DJ’s aren’t good. If you’ve paid your dues and been djing for years of your life to master your craft. Don’t sell yourself short. ‘Cause the moment you start catering to the cheap wedding crowd, that’s how you’ll be referred to others. “Oh the guys who did my wedding only charged $50.00.” There’s your referrals.
So find a happy price range suitable for both and let the good times roll!!!!! You won’t regret it. If you do. You probably weren’t drunk enough. Too bad, so sad.